How To Approach Women And Start A Conversation

Approaching Women!

Why IS THIS HARD FOR SOME MEN?

The difficulty is not because you don't know how to approach women and start a conversation. Its the negative expectation that you have, the uncertainty of what her reaction to you will be. You just need to stop worrying about what to say, whether or not you will be humiliated by her response and just make the first move.

How do you overcome your insecurities, doubts, fears and just approach her? Just walk up to any random woman, even if you don't find her attractive, and just start talking. Women are generally friendly and talkative people, this is true if you don't creep her out with some weird pick up line. The fact is women are very open to men approaching them, some even secretly wish you'd come over say hi and start a conversation with them.

Overcoming The Fear Of Approaching Women

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

You are afraid to approach these women because you assume they are judging you, they don't know what to think of you. Influence her thoughts of you by the way you approach her, show her that you are on top of your game by being confident and direct in your approach. It is always easier to not approach that woman or to make excuses why you shouldn't approach her ~your... too fat, too poor, too bald.

If you live life boring and monotonous great things will never happen for you. Do more than just going to work, coming home, watching tv and going to bed. Make an effort to get off your butt and be active with your social life. Go out meet new people, try to mingle with someone new even if you have no intention of seeing them again. Stop taking the easy route and push yourself to do something a little challenging.

PREPARATION IS KEY

You are afraid to approach and talk to women because you are not prepared, you are unsure of what do do or say. If you don't know how to start and keep a conversation going, you are not yet ready. You have to develop your flirting skills - which will improve your ability to hold an exciting and engaging conversation. Then you will be fully equipped to approach and talk to women, thus alleviating your fears and preventing you from getting hurt.

Getting Past The Approach Barrier

If your'e having trouble approaching women, chances are you wont just suddenly snap out of it. You can't just magically transform into a smooth talking girl charmer by the flick of a switch, first you have to develop the courage and confidence. You can't just nervously go over to her and start mumbling with uncertainty. You have to be bold and project your manliness, let your authority be felt from the get go. To get to that stage you have to break down the process of approaching women and starting conversations with them into smaller steps.

Step 1

Clearly the first on the list would be to go somewhere that women frequent. Such as a bookstore, the mall, a coffee shop, any leisure spot that would appeal to the women you desire. Dress the part, put yourself together, go out there and visit these places for woman that you would be interested in.

Step 2

You see a few women that you find attractive, but you still find it difficult walking up to a woman and starting a conversation with her. That's OK! This step is not about approaching women, its something you will find a bit easier; like just making eye contact. Simply make eye contact with random women and observe their reaction to you.

Step 3

At this point you should be comfortably making eye contact with women. What's next is to continue making eye contacts, but only with the women you would like to approach. This time while you are making eye contact you now give her a smile, this will pave the way for the next step and make it so much easier.

Step 4

This is where you actually go over and talk to her, this should be a lot easier than before because you now have a foundation to build on. You've made eye contact and smiled at her, if she returns a smile that's her invitation. She is interested and giving you permission to go over and talk to her. Don't worry about the outcome or what to say, a simple "Hi! I am {name} and you are"? will get things going. Besides if she likes you she will help steer the conversation in the right direction.

WHAT TO TALK ABOUT

You've gone over to her and introduced yourself and she has responded favorably, so whats next! Its time to have fun, talk about something that interesting, fun and engaging by asking the right questions. Remember this should be a conversation, not a yes or no Q&A session.

Talk about today, the place you are both in, share a relevant experienced you've had. Get her to talk about herself, what she does professionally and her interest. If you compliment her, do so by asking a question. Instead of "I like you hair", say something like: "do you always wear your hair like that"? she will be curious and want to know why you ask, then you give her the compliment. And instead of just a thank you, she will have more to talk about by telling you why she wears her hair like that.

The first real approach will always be the hardest, but once that's out the way you'll find that the more women you talk to it starts to become a lot easier. You just have to get out there and start doing it.

If a woman is cold or mean its probably about her problems and not you, just shake it off and move on. Remember, it doesn't matter what the outcome is. You don't care whether she loves you or hates you. All you care about is practicing your skill of approaching and conversing with women you're interested in. Reflect on each encounter and think about what you could have done differently to improve.